Authentic Living: How I Use My Journey to Self-Discovery to Help Others

As a queer trans guy who began transitioning at 40 and started HRT at 42, I’ve come to an important realization that I want to share with all of you: trans people don’t transition for others, we transition for ourselves.

Creating My Own Path

One of the most liberating aspects of coming out later in life has been the clarity that comes with age and experience. I’ve lived long enough to know that I don’t need to conform to anyone else’s expectations of how a man should look or act. I’m making up the rules for how I want to show up in the world.

This realization has given me tremendous freedom. I can choose to look and act masculine in order to be seen as a man in the world, or I can look and act like me and let others determine what they want. Both are valid choices, and the power lies in having the agency to decide for myself rather than feeling forced into one presentation or another.

The Weight of Inauthenticity

Something I’ve learned through this journey is that while being misgendered is undeniably hard, being inauthentic is truly exhausting. Living a life where you’re constantly monitoring your behavior, appearance, and mannerisms to fit into someone else’s definition of gender drains your spirit in ways that are difficult to articulate.

I don’t want to trade one prison for another. I didn’t come all this way, face all these challenges, and embrace this transition only to take on the burden of being squeezed into a box that doesn’t fit just right. And certainly not just to make others feel comfortable with their constricting beliefs about what it means to be a man.

My Approach to Coaching and Consulting

As someone who works as a life coach and consultant specializing in helping others navigate their own journeys of authenticity, I’ve seen how powerful it can be when people give themselves permission to define their own path. Whether it’s related to gender, sexuality, career, or any other aspect of identity, authentic living creates a ripple effect that touches everyone around us.

Through my coaching and consulting practice, I work with individuals and organizations to create spaces where authenticity isn’t just accepted, it’s celebrated. My personal experience transitioning later in life has given me unique insights into the courage it takes to make major life changes and the transformative power of living aligned with your true self.

For those considering transition later in life, I want you to know that it’s never too late to become yourself. At 40+, I had decades of life experience that actually helped me approach my transition with clarity and confidence about who I am and what I need. This perspective informs every aspect of my coaching work, where I help clients leverage their life experience as a strength rather than viewing it as lost time.

Redefining “Man Enough”

Society has such narrow definitions of masculinity, but I’ve discovered that being “man enough” has nothing to do with fitting stereotypes and everything to do with having the courage to be authentically yourself.

Whether I choose to wear makeup, have piercings, or embrace aspects of my appearance that some might consider non-traditional for men, I’m still every bit a man. My manhood isn’t contingent on conformity, it’s an intrinsic part of who I am. This understanding has become central to my coaching philosophy, helping clients understand that their worth and identity aren’t dependent on external validation or conformity to societal expectations.

The Impact of Sharing My Journey

I’ve been humbled by the responses I’ve received from people who have witnessed parts of my journey. Comments like “It’s been inspirational” remind me that when we live authentically, we create space for others to do the same.

That’s ultimately why I share my story through my coaching practice and social media, not because I think my way is the only way, but because seeing diverse paths to authenticity helps all of us imagine new possibilities for our own lives. My consulting work often involves helping organizations understand this same principle: when we create inclusive environments where people can bring their whole selves to work, everyone benefits.

Moving Forward

As I continue on this journey, I remain committed to being myself and living authentically. I embrace my identity as transgender, transmasculine, and transman while also recognizing that these labels are descriptors, not definitions.

My regular social media posts and other updates aren’t just personal documentation, they’re small acts of revolution in a world that still struggles to accept gender diversity. By simply existing as myself, I hope to widen the path for others who will come after me. This same principle guides my professional work, where I help clients and organizations understand that authentic representation isn’t just about doing the right thing, it’s about unlocking human potential.

Through my coaching and consulting business, I’m committed to helping others find their own path to authentic living, whether that’s navigating a major life transition, building confidence in leadership roles, or creating more inclusive communities and workplaces.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Your support means more than you know.

Dean