Thereโs a moment most people recognize. You know what you need to do. Youโve known for a while. And yet you donโt do it. Most people call this self-sabotage. And theyโre right. But what most people donโt know is why it happens. Or where it actually comes from. Itโs not a willpower problem. Itโs not a character flaw. Itโs a pattern. And patterns, unlike character flaws, can change. In this post Iโm breaking down what self-sabotage actually is, where it comes from, and the three targets most people donโt know about. Plus thereโs a free webinar coming where we do this work together live.
โThatโs Just Who I Amโ. The Truth Nobody Tells You About Your Personality
โThatโs just who I amโ sounds like self-awareness. Most of the time, itโs the most convincing lie we tell ourselves. Your personality and your survival strategy arenโt the same thing. Every pattern you carry made sense once. It kept you safe, loved, and functional in a world that asked too much of you too young. But a strength overused becomes the way you self-sabotage. And youโre not in that room anymore.
ON LOVE, GROWTH & MENTAL FITNESS
Love is a powerful force that can transform lives. When we open ourselves up to receiving love, we allow it to heal and uplift us. But the path to self-love is not always easy. We must overcome our own doubts and fears, and learn to trust in our worth. By doing so, we can create a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with ourselves and others.
What I Know Now That I Wish Iโd Known Then: The Coming Out Edition
Eight years ago I wrote about coming out. Today Iโm writing about everything I wish Iโd known then. The complexity of sexuality and attraction. The difference between sexual and romantic attraction. The word demisexual โ and why finding it quietly changed things for me. And the mental patterns that kept me performing a life that didnโt fit long after I thought Iโd figured myself out. This oneโs personal. If youโre somewhere in your own process of becoming, I think itโll land.
Youโre Not the Problem. But Your Saboteurs Might Be Making You Think You Are.
If youโve ever walked into a room and immediately started scanning to see if you belong there then you already know what Iโm talking about. Youโve worked hard to get where you are. Youโve navigated systems that werenโt built with you in mind. Youโve learned to read the room fast, adapt quickly, and carry more …
Continue reading "Youโre Not the Problem. But Your Saboteurs Might Be Making You Think You Are."
The Voice in Your Head Thatโs Not Actually Helping You
Saboteurs are mental patterns from our past that impact our present, particularly for queer and trans individuals. Understanding and addressing them can transform your life.
Full Circle: Why I Left Life Coaching, Went Back to University, and Came Back Knowing This Is Exactly Where I Belong
A journey through doubt, growth, and coming home to my calling โ queer and trans life coaching. There's a question I've been sitting with lately โ one that makes me smile now, even though it once would have made me wince. Did I really spend years at university, just to come back and become a …
The Unpopular Truth About Being a Highly Sensitive Person or Empath
I used to proudly identify as a highly sensitive person and an empath. Then I learned those traits were rooted in unhealed trauma - and instead of shame, I felt relief. Because it meant I could change. In this post, I share the unpopular truth about sensitivity, people-pleasing, and what it really means to turn your empathy into a gift.
โHire a Life Coach? In This Economy?โ
Life coaching might seem indulgent during tough economic times, but staying stuck costs more than you think. Smart, capable people drown in information, needing clarity, not more productivity hacks. When resources are limited, knowing your goals is crucialโstop wasting time and energy.
How Unconscious Bias Nearly Derailed My Transitionโand What It Taught Me About True Self-Discovery
I had lived forty years as a woman, birthed five children. My entire identity was wrapped up in being a momโnot just the title, but everything that came with it. I was the nurturer. The emotional center of the home. The one who anticipated needs, who created safety, who held space for everyoneโs feelings. When …
