Why You Keep Getting In Your Own Way (And Whatโ€™s Actually Behind It)

Thereโ€™s a moment most people recognize. You know what you need to do. Youโ€™ve known for a while. And yet you donโ€™t do it. Most people call this self-sabotage. And theyโ€™re right. But what most people donโ€™t know is why it happens. Or where it actually comes from. Itโ€™s not a willpower problem. Itโ€™s not a character flaw. Itโ€™s a pattern. And patterns, unlike character flaws, can change. In this post Iโ€™m breaking down what self-sabotage actually is, where it comes from, and the three targets most people donโ€™t know about. Plus thereโ€™s a free webinar coming where we do this work together live.

โ€œThatโ€™s Just Who I Amโ€. The Truth Nobody Tells You About Your Personality

โ€œThatโ€™s just who I amโ€ sounds like self-awareness. Most of the time, itโ€™s the most convincing lie we tell ourselves. Your personality and your survival strategy arenโ€™t the same thing. Every pattern you carry made sense once. It kept you safe, loved, and functional in a world that asked too much of you too young. But a strength overused becomes the way you self-sabotage. And youโ€™re not in that room anymore.

ON LOVE, GROWTH & MENTAL FITNESS

Love is a powerful force that can transform lives. When we open ourselves up to receiving love, we allow it to heal and uplift us. But the path to self-love is not always easy. We must overcome our own doubts and fears, and learn to trust in our worth. By doing so, we can create a healthier and more fulfilling relationship with ourselves and others.

What I Know Now That I Wish Iโ€™d Known Then: The Coming Out Edition

Eight years ago I wrote about coming out. Today Iโ€™m writing about everything I wish Iโ€™d known then. The complexity of sexuality and attraction. The difference between sexual and romantic attraction. The word demisexual โ€” and why finding it quietly changed things for me. And the mental patterns that kept me performing a life that didnโ€™t fit long after I thought Iโ€™d figured myself out. This oneโ€™s personal. If youโ€™re somewhere in your own process of becoming, I think itโ€™ll land.

Youโ€™re Not the Problem. But Your Saboteurs Might Be Making You Think You Are.

If youโ€™ve ever walked into a room and immediately started scanning to see if you belong there then you already know what Iโ€™m talking about. Youโ€™ve worked hard to get where you are. Youโ€™ve navigated systems that werenโ€™t built with you in mind. Youโ€™ve learned to read the room fast, adapt quickly, and carry more …

Full Circle: Why I Left Life Coaching, Went Back to University, and Came Back Knowing This Is Exactly Where I Belong

A journey through doubt, growth, and coming home to my calling โ€” queer and trans life coaching. There's a question I've been sitting with lately โ€” one that makes me smile now, even though it once would have made me wince. Did I really spend years at university, just to come back and become a …

The Unpopular Truth About Being a Highly Sensitive Person or Empath

I used to proudly identify as a highly sensitive person and an empath. Then I learned those traits were rooted in unhealed trauma - and instead of shame, I felt relief. Because it meant I could change. In this post, I share the unpopular truth about sensitivity, people-pleasing, and what it really means to turn your empathy into a gift.

How Unconscious Bias Nearly Derailed My Transitionโ€”and What It Taught Me About True Self-Discovery

I had lived forty years as a woman, birthed five children. My entire identity was wrapped up in being a momโ€”not just the title, but everything that came with it. I was the nurturer. The emotional center of the home. The one who anticipated needs, who created safety, who held space for everyoneโ€™s feelings. When …

Rasmussen Coaching and Consulting

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