Queer Your Way carries two meanings: being queer or trans on your own terms, and queering your way of life, stepping outside the norm, whether or not you're queer. Here's why both matter.
What Does It Actually Mean to Queer Your Way?
You Can’t Ask For What You Don’t Believe You Deserve
Discover why self-acceptance has to come before you can expect acceptance from anyone else. Explore the quiet pattern that keeps you settling for half-acceptance from the people around you. Learn what it actually takes to believe you deserve to be fully seen, and fully accepted, exactly as you are.
One Foot In, One Foot Out: Why Halfway Doesn’t Actually Feel Safer
There’s a specific kind of stuck that isn’t hiding, and isn’t pretending either. It’s living out, just not fully open, because the people around you haven’t quite made room for all of who you are yet, so you hold part of yourself back to keep things comfortable.
Coming Out Later in Life: The Fear That Almost Kept Me Stuck
Coming out and transitioning later in life can bring up a complicated mix of fear, self-doubt, identity, and uncertainty. In this deeply personal reflection, I share the question that first cracked open my understanding of my gender identity, the fears that kept me stuck, and what ultimately helped me trust my own voice. My journey taught me that living authentically isn’t about erasing your past, it’s about building a life that reflects who you truly are.
Your Window of Tolerance Isn’t Just for the Hard Stuff
We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabotage instead of relief, your window may need to expand, not shrink to fit what feels familiar. Most of us learned the concept of a “window of tolerance” as a way to talk about our capacity for distress. Grief, fear, anger, overwhelm. When something pushes us past our window, we flip into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The work, we’re told, is to widen that window so we can stay present with hard feelings instead of getting swept away by them. That part is true. But it’s incomplete.
The Shoes That Looked Perfect
We often think we need to follow a certain path to achieve happiness. But it's like wearing a great pair of shoes that are a size too small. They look perfect, but they don't fit. Eventually, we learn that doing everything right and being ourselves might different things. It takes time to see this clearly, but it's worth it. Check your picture of a good life. Most of it was taught to you. Be curious, and notice what's actually true.
Two Years Ago, We Started Over
Two years after moving to a new city, I reflect on what leaving behind the familiar taught me about fear, grief, and trusting big decisions. If you’re facing a major life change, this story is an invitation to choose the life you’re trying to build—even before you feel certain.
What Does a 10 Look Like? Why Your Best Life Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s.
Discover what truly makes a 10 in your life! Often, we're conditioned to chase societal milestones, but your 10 is unique to you. Imagine waking up excited, having meaningful friendships, and feeling comfortable in your skin. These are the moments that matter most, and they define a fulfilling life. Stop comparing yourself to others and start defining your own success. Your 10 is personal, and it's up to you to make it a reality.
The Fact That I’m Trans Might Actually Be the Most Interesting Thing About Me
Many trans people say being trans is the least interesting thing about them, and I understand why. But if I’m honest, I’m not sure that’s true for me. After all, I’m a man who birthed five babies. In this post, I explore why my trans experience has shaped some of the most interesting parts of my life, the lessons it’s taught me about authenticity, and how that journey influences the way I coach others.
The Year We Said Yes (and No) And How It Changed Everything
Saying yes/no with intention has transformed our lives. We've learned that by rejecting obligations that drain us and embracing those that align with our passions and values, we've been able to grow, learn, and achieve things we never thought were possible. This journey has taught us that our happiness and well-being are worth prioritizing, and it's a message we're excited to share with the world.
