The Fact That I’m Trans Might Actually Be the Most Interesting Thing About Me

I hear a lot of trans people say, “Being trans is the least interesting thing about me.”

And honestly? I get what they’re saying.

For a lot of people, being trans is just one small part of a much bigger life. They’re artists, athletes, parents, entrepreneurs, musicians, gardeners, accountants, adventurers, and about a thousand other things. Their transness doesn’t define them, and they don’t want it to be the first thing people see.

That makes sense to me.

But if I’m being truthful, I’m not entirely sure that’s true for me.

Because I’m kind of boring.

Okay, maybe boring is a bit harsh.

But let’s be honest: I drink black coffee. I eat the same breakfast every morning. I spend too much time thinking about what we should have for dinner. I watch too much reality TV. None of that is particularly groundbreaking.

But the fact that I’m a man who birthed five babies?

That’s pretty interesting.

The fact that I spent decades trying to become someone else before finally becoming myself?

That’s interesting.

The fact that I’ve lived on both sides of a lot of society’s assumptions about gender?

That’s interesting too.

Sometimes I think there’s pressure in certain circles to downplay being trans. To prove that we’re “normal.” To show that we’re just like everyone else.

And in many ways, we are.

Trans people pay bills. Forget appointments. Worry about their kids. Scroll social media too much. We live ordinary lives.

But I don’t think we need to pretend that our experiences aren’t remarkable.

Because they are.

Not better than anyone else’s.

Not more valuable.

Just unusual.

And unusual things tend to be interesting.

I’ve had experiences that most people will never have. I’ve navigated the world in ways most people never will. I’ve seen firsthand how differently people are treated based on the gender they are perceived to be. I’ve had to rebuild my life around authenticity. I’ve learned things about identity, belonging, shame, courage, and self-acceptance that I probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

Those experiences shape how I coach.

When a client comes to me trying to figure out who they are underneath years of expectations, I get it.

When someone is questioning whether they’re allowed to want something different from the life they’ve built, I get it.

When they’re exhausted from performing a version of themselves that earns approval but costs them authenticity, I really get it.

Not because I’m trans.

But because of everything being trans forced me to confront.

Maybe that’s the distinction.

Being trans isn’t the most interesting thing about me because of my gender.

It’s the most interesting thing about me because of the journey it took me on.

The lessons it taught me.

The questions it forced me to ask.

The courage it demanded.

And yes, let’s be honest, the fact that I’m a man who birthed five babies is still a pretty wild conversation starter.

Maybe one day something else about me will be more interesting.

But for now, I think that’s okay.