Tag: Ftm

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Your Window of Tolerance Isn’t Just for the Hard Stuff

We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabotage instead of relief, your window may need to expand, not shrink to fit what feels familiar. Most of us learned the concept of a “window of tolerance” as a way to talk about our capacity for distress. Grief, fear, anger, overwhelm. When something pushes us past our window, we flip into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The work, we’re told, is to widen that window so we can stay present with hard feelings instead of getting swept away by them. That part is true. But it’s incomplete.

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Two Years Ago, We Started Over

Two years after moving to a new city, I reflect on what leaving behind the familiar taught me about fear, grief, and trusting big decisions. If you’re facing a major life change, this story is an invitation to choose the life you’re trying to build—even before you feel certain.

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What Does a 10 Look Like? Why Your Best Life Doesn’t Have to Look Like Anyone Else’s.

Discover what truly makes a 10 in your life! Often, we're conditioned to chase societal milestones, but your 10 is unique to you. Imagine waking up excited, having meaningful friendships, and feeling comfortable in your skin. These are the moments that matter most, and they define a fulfilling life. Stop comparing yourself to others and start defining your own success. Your 10 is personal, and it's up to you to make it a reality.

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The Fact That I’m Trans Might Actually Be the Most Interesting Thing About Me

Many trans people say being trans is the least interesting thing about them, and I understand why. But if I’m honest, I’m not sure that’s true for me. After all, I’m a man who birthed five babies. In this post, I explore why my trans experience has shaped some of the most interesting parts of my life, the lessons it’s taught me about authenticity, and how that journey influences the way I coach others.

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Transitioning Later in Life: My Journey to Becoming Myself

What is it like transitioning later in life? I came out as transgender at 39 after spending nearly four decades living as a woman, becoming a mom to five children, and trying to build a life that never quite felt like mine. In this post, I share my experience of transitioning later in life, how gender conditioning shaped my journey, why I still feel at home in many women’s spaces, and what I hope others questioning their gender identity can take away from my story. Whether you’re exploring your own identity or hoping to better understand the experiences of later-in-life trans people, you’re not alone.

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Are You Trans? Three words, one life changing question.

In this deeply personal post, Dean shares the journey of recognizing and accepting his transgender identity as an adult — and the fear, uncertainty, and inner work that came with it. From worrying about his role as a parent to untangling the complex relationship between gender identity and childhood trauma, Dean walks readers through the moments that ultimately led him to begin testosterone injections and step fully into his authentic self. But this post isn’t just about being transgender. It’s about the universal experience of hiding who you are — and what becomes possible when you stop. Through three key shifts (from performance to presence, external validation to internal navigation, and either/or to both/and thinking), Dean draws a powerful connection between his own self-discovery and the inner work that transforms anyone’s life. If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by the fear of being truly seen, this post is for you.