Tag: Self-Sabotage

Posted on

Your Window of Tolerance Isn’t Just for the Hard Stuff

We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabotage instead of relief, your window may need to expand, not shrink to fit what feels familiar. Most of us learned the concept of a “window of tolerance” as a way to talk about our capacity for distress. Grief, fear, anger, overwhelm. When something pushes us past our window, we flip into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The work, we’re told, is to widen that window so we can stay present with hard feelings instead of getting swept away by them. That part is true. But it’s incomplete.

Posted on

The Year We Said Yes (and No) And How It Changed Everything

Saying yes/no with intention has transformed our lives. We've learned that by rejecting obligations that drain us and embracing those that align with our passions and values, we've been able to grow, learn, and achieve things we never thought were possible. This journey has taught us that our happiness and well-being are worth prioritizing, and it's a message we're excited to share with the world.

Posted on

Why You Keep Getting In Your Own Way (And What’s Actually Behind It)

There’s a moment most people recognize. You know what you need to do. You’ve known for a while. And yet you don’t do it. Most people call this self-sabotage. And they’re right. But what most people don’t know is why it happens. Or where it actually comes from. It’s not a willpower problem. It’s not a character flaw. It’s a pattern. And patterns, unlike character flaws, can change. In this post I’m breaking down what self-sabotage actually is, where it comes from, and the three targets most people don’t know about. Plus there’s a free webinar coming where we do this work together live.

Posted on

“That’s Just Who I Am”. The Truth Nobody Tells You About Your Personality

“That’s just who I am” sounds like self-awareness. Most of the time, it’s the most convincing lie we tell ourselves. Your personality and your survival strategy aren’t the same thing. Every pattern you carry made sense once. It kept you safe, loved, and functional in a world that asked too much of you too young. But a strength overused becomes the way you self-sabotage. And you’re not in that room anymore.