It’s time to build a life that feels like yours
There’s a specific kind of stuck that isn’t hiding, and isn’t pretending either. It’s living out, just not fully open, because the people around you haven’t quite made room for all of who you are yet, so you hold part of yourself back to keep things comfortable.
We usually talk about the window of tolerance as a measure of how much pain we can handle. But it also covers our capacity for joy, pleasure, and love. If good things trigger anxiety or self-sabotage instead of relief, your window may need to expand, not shrink to fit what feels familiar. Most of us learned the concept of a “window of tolerance” as a way to talk about our capacity for distress. Grief, fear, anger, overwhelm. When something pushes us past our window, we flip into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. The work, we’re told, is to widen that window so we can stay present with hard feelings instead of getting swept away by them. That part is true. But it’s incomplete.
We often think we need to follow a certain path to achieve happiness. But it's like wearing a great pair of shoes that are a size too small. They look perfect, but they don't fit. Eventually, we learn that doing everything right and being ourselves might different things. It takes time to see this clearly, but it's worth it. Check your picture of a good life. Most of it was taught to you. Be curious, and notice what's actually true.
Two years after moving to a new city, I reflect on what leaving behind the familiar taught me about fear, grief, and trusting big decisions. If you’re facing a major life change, this story is an invitation to choose the life you’re trying to build—even before you feel certain.
Discover what truly makes a 10 in your life! Often, we're conditioned to chase societal milestones, but your 10 is unique to you. Imagine waking up excited, having meaningful friendships, and feeling comfortable in your skin. These are the moments that matter most, and they define a fulfilling life. Stop comparing yourself to others and start defining your own success. Your 10 is personal, and it's up to you to make it a reality.
Saying yes/no with intention has transformed our lives. We've learned that by rejecting obligations that drain us and embracing those that align with our passions and values, we've been able to grow, learn, and achieve things we never thought were possible. This journey has taught us that our happiness and well-being are worth prioritizing, and it's a message we're excited to share with the world.
Saboteurs are mental patterns from our past that impact our present, particularly for queer and trans individuals. Understanding and addressing them can transform your life.
A journey through doubt, growth, and coming home to my calling — queer and trans life coaching. There's a question I've been sitting with lately — one that makes me smile now, even though it once would have made me wince. Did I really spend years at university, just to come back and become a …
Life coaching might seem indulgent during tough economic times, but staying stuck costs more than you think. Smart, capable people drown in information, needing clarity, not more productivity hacks. When resources are limited, knowing your goals is crucial—stop wasting time and energy.
Discover the profound grief of living an unlived life. Learn how conversion therapy can erase years of your true self. A call to reckon with lost time and embrace authenticity.
